My Problem with Blogging

January 8, 2013 at 9:49 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
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So if anyone still reading through my poor, ignore blog has noticed, I’m a horrible blogger. I’ll go in fits and spurts for when I’m posting, usually related to my mental state.

When I’m feeling creative, motivated and all that good stuff I post like a fiend, but then I get to a point where I feel that anything I do is crap, no one wants to read what I do … and I curl up in a corner and poke at my blog to see if it bites.

In the last while I’ve made a few other blogs that are more topic specific that I’ve been posting to. I’ve found that I’m a bit better when I’ve got a purpose to a blog (which this one doesn’t really have).

This is one of the reasons I love WordPress, I have about 10 various blogs that are all connected to one account that I can go to and monitor.

For the last while those blogs have been very quiet… basically silent, but I’m hoping to revive them a bit more in the next year and write whatever I’m thinking about.

However, that’s great for the topic specific blogs, but what does that mean for this one?

Well I don’t know. This one is so much of me in various stages of my life, and now that I’m 30 and starting 2013 we’ll see what I do with this. Whether I just link to posts on other blogs so people who know me can follow them, or if I put random stuff on here so that people know what’s up we’ll have to see.

In other news I’m hoping to get together with my lovely knit and chat soon, and seeing as I’ve buggered my knee I should have more time so I might just make this a life blog and post about that.

2013 has lots of options. We’ll see what it brings.

Where do I slot in?

January 21, 2012 at 12:20 pm | Posted in Blog, inspiration, random, Serious | 1 Comment
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In the big wide world of blogging, there are a lot of classifications.

You can be a sewing blog, a knitting blog, a life blog, a religious blog, a review blog, a challenge blog, a mommy blog, a health blog…. the list goes on and on.

I’ve recently been trying to think about what I would call my blog.

When I started blogging it was back in 2004 on blogspot, and I was bound and determined to become the next Yarn Harlot. She knit, she took pictures, she was funny, and she was popular.

I was sure I’d find people who were similar to me, who had the same likes, the same ideas, and, most importantly, would be my friends and make me feel good about myself…. ok, so I have a few self confidence issues.

I tried, I really did, I just didn’t knit pretty stuff, and I wasn’t funny, and I was trying to be someone people would like, and who wasn’t me. So over time, I decided to stop blogging, or rather, just didn’t find the time. My blog lazed about, and I eventually moved it over to BlogDrive, which seemed like a better site. It had prettier templates at least.

After a few stuttering failures at becoming a famous blogger again, I slowed right down. I tried to make my blog also focus on my costumes, as I went back and forth between hobbies, and just couldn’t seem to pick up speed, or readers for that matter.

I eventually moved my entire blog over here to WordPress, and I like it here… that’s not so say I won’t find another place that I enjoy blogging at more, but for now, this is my blog home. Plus I don’t want to have to take 4 months to move all the posts over from this blog.

Since I’ve been here at WordPress, I’ve tried to join challenges, I’ve posted recipes, I’ve shown my costumes, talked about my body issues, review some plays I went to, talked about my religion and my thoughts… and this year, I’ve started sewing my own clothes.

The problem with these blog classifications is that while many people will only write about a certain topic on their blogs, it doesn’t even begin to cover the variety of things that they do and think in their lives.

There’s a reason that I dubbed this blog “Odds and Sods”. I’m a bundle of them, my house is a bundle of them, my life is a bundle of them. I realized recently that when looking and talking to me you can’t slot me into a catagory. Going over in my head all the things that classify me, this is just a short list of the things that came to mind:

Geek
Christian
Friend
Sewer
Knitter
Costume Maker
Cat Lover
Gamer
Dancer
Weirdo
Drama Nerd
Theater Lover(yes they’re different)
Food Critic
Administrator
Writer
Wife
Daughter
Sister
Chef
Baker
Artist
Collector

And I could probably think of 20 more things that could classify me. If I fit into all these things, and I write about the majority of them on my blog, does that put me at odds with the pretty little classification system that the Internet has so wonderfully created? Does this leave me on the sidelines as an oddity that doesn’t work into the system and should therefore be ignored?

I don’t know.

I know I have a few more readers than I did when I started, though the majority of them are friends, coworkers, people I know in real life. It would be nice to have a blog where converstions are held in the comments. I just don’t think I’ll ever write that kind of blog. The nice thing is though, that I can go to those kinds of blogs and participate in the conversation in other comment sections.

I’ve also come to terms that I don’t need to make myself be something else to get more people to like me, which is why I’ve stopped trying to be funny, trying to be interesting and trying to be popular. This blog isn’t for me to get friends, it’s for me to write for me. It’s a place where I can put my thoughts and come back to them in the future.

Right now, I don’t really want to go back to the 2004 posts and see what I wrote, because I know that wasn’t who I really was. That was the insecurities of a 22 year old screaming “SOMEONE LOVE ME!!!!!” and I can’t really compare that to who I am other than to know that what I write now IS me.

There’s no point in trying to impress others by being someone I’m not, eventually the truth will come out.

So rather than being fake… I… just ease into my weirdness. At work I didn’t show all my geekitude and costumes and such for the first few months. Now I have a group of coworkers who ask if anything I’m wearing is handmade, another group that’s coming to a geek gamer party we’re having in February… I just didn’t exactly make my geek hood known right away.

This is my blog… It may not ever be on any lists of favourite blogs, it may not every even be read by more than 5 people in a day, but it’s my little spot to put my thoughts, put my pictures, and have something to come back to and see how my life was at this time. If I get more readers, great, but that’s not why I’m writing.

Not anymore.

How Ron Jeremy can change a bus ride

September 16, 2010 at 9:25 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
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I ride the bus to and from work every day totalling to about 2.5 hours on the bus daily. During this time, I usually listen to my ipod, read a book, knit, or stare out the window.

On buses, there is an unspoken etiquette. You don’t speak to me, I won’t speak to you.

The majority of the time, the only people talking on the bus are those who are travelling together. This fills the bus with lots of hyper teenage chatter, or in the mornings, complete silence.

Now this is not to say that there is no interaction. There’s a gentleman who always nods a greeting to me in the morning, the woman who lives within a 2 block radius of me who will sometimes make a comment about the weather as we disembark in the evenings, the man around my age with a DS who, after we both had a very bad experience with some drunk men on one ride home, gives me a smile and greeting with a look that still, 2 months later says “I hope we don’t have that again”.

But there isn’t any interaction beyond that. I’ve been doing this bus ride for nearly a year, and seen these people daily for that period of time, but we don’t know each other, I don’t even know their names. In todays society it’s better to stay silent, appear occupied, and ignore anyone else on the bus. Partly this is for safety, believe me I have horror stories from the bus, however, part of this is because it’s just more comfortable to stay solitary than to reach out to others.

This isn’t just something that happens on the bus, it’s the same in any public place. You go to the theatre, the mall, the bank, even in your own neighbourhood, and if you don’t know the person who’s walking towards you, you maintain silence, sometimes even trying to appear preoccupied. Or if their is any interaction it is nothing more than a small smile and head nod acknowledging their presence.

Yesterday I hopped on the bus, I managed to push my way to the back, since I had a rather long ride and would prefer not to stand the whole time, and sat on a seat facing backwards. These are four seats two facing front, two facing back, that are perfect for groups of friends to sit. Usually if I get stuck on them I engross myself in my book and try not to bump anyone around me.

This time, I did pull out my book, but I was constantly distracted from reading it as the women across from me were having a conversation about old tv shows, Andy Griffith, Happy Days, things like that. The one woman not knowing the shows, the other trying to find a show that they both remembered to use as a comparison. It was quite interesting to listen to them talking, but I did my best to pretend I was ignoring them and following the “etiquette” of the bus. The name Ron Norman came up, and the woman who was struggling to remember these shows said that she “only knew the porn star… what was his name… ron… ron…” At which point I barely looked up, gave a small smile and said “Ron Jeremy”.

All of a sudden, by me saying that, it was ok for others to participate in the conversation. The college student beside me stopped staring out the window and started talking about her saturday morning cartoons and kids shows, the gentleman behind the two women spoke up about his father and some of the things he was doing when the topic turned to Cher being 64 and still as active as ever.

It was such a change, how two simple words enabled so many others to connect. Now we don’t know each others names, as that was never shared, but we had comfortable, fun conversation that made the bus ride home an enjoyment rather than an irritation.

I’m not saying we must all start talking to each other as best friends, I’m just making on observation at how those “etiquette” laws of silence can be broken if just one person speaks up at an appropriate time.

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