Yes I’m Still Going

March 24, 2009 at 4:20 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

So I”m proud of myself today. I have been a little lacksidaisy about my exercize routine recently, but I’ve tried to at least go for a walk daily.

I’m proud of myself because even though I caught a cold on the weekend, I still did half an hour of work out on the Wii-Fit yesterday!

I did Jackknives and Plank, and the hoola-hoop game that all work the ab area, because that’s where I”m finding I’m really having an issue.

I’m going to be completely honest here. I’m actually in quite good shape. I’m 5’5″, 150 lbs at my heaviest (I shift between 142 and 150 every couple of days, it depends on my cycle), and honestly, I look a lot better than I did a few years ago.

I grew up with what many people describe as “a perfect body” I was very skinny, honestly, I was a size 0. I had blonde hair, and I did dance (so I had some muscle on me).

However, I was ill a lot, I was not happy, and I had a very bad body image. For full honestly I was 98 lbs and 5’5″, and I was not healthy.

I have since found out that this was mostly to do with a hormonal disorder. I had too much testosterone in my system and I had never really reached puberty.

My body never developed passed me being 12. I had breasts, but you really needed to look for them, I was 21 and buying training bras at Bi-way. I got my period, though it was never stable… I’d go for months without one, then have one be 3 weeks long, be off it for a week and go back on for another 2. Not to mention that I had cramps so bad I was passing out from the pain. Most of the time, if I tucked my hair under a hat and wore slightly baggy clothes, people thought I was a boy.

Even though I had issues with my body, I kept trying to tell myself to be happy. I had the body all girls dreamed of.. I was Hollywood perfect.

Unfortunately, Hollywood perfect is not really a good place to be.

After a while I finally went on the pill (Thanks to some badgering from my best friend… who is now my hubby). After that, I suddenly sprouted. I was regular, my cramps were gone, and I had boobs!

However, along with this I got a rear end… my mom walked in on me while I was getting ready for a shower and stated in shock “you’ve got a J-Lo booty!”

Unfortunately she didn’t mean it as a compliment… I however, took it as one.

In 2 years I went from being scrawny, skinny, unhealthy and unhappy, to having curves, looking like an adult, not having pain and getting a good body image.

Unfortunately at this time I also had to quit my 4 hours of dance per week that I was doing.

That was two years ago, and I have not had anything come into my life that was as good a motivator as dance. Since quitting dance I’ve found that my stomach has been becoming uncomfortably flabby.

I’m not fat by any stretch of the words (tho mom tries to bring it up because she misses the Hollywood Perfect body). I do, however, need to tone. I need to get my body to a point that I don’t go “I’m happy with where I am… but I’d like to change…..”

Currently it’s my stomach that’s catching my eye as a problem, but I”m worried that when I start having kids it’s going to be a lot more.

I’ve already changed my diet from eating out, or buying premade, freezer foods, to making my meals at home and using as close to base and unprocessed foods as possible.

Now I just need to get an exercize program started in my life that I will stick to. I’ve already discovered that I’m not too good at sticking to plans on my own.

How long did I last with Yoga? A week?

I still would like to try to continue with Yoga, and to continue working out daily… whether it’s with the Wii-Fit, going for a walk or buckling down and doing a work out dvd.

I’m hoping that when I get my next job (this economy has been killing me!) I will be able to either afford, or maybe have in my benefits package, a gym membership. Nothing special, just the YMCA, something that has someone yelling at me to push harder, keep going, and not let up.

Because in my head, I’m not doing so good.

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